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Hampir empat tahun diari ini sepi.

Bukan kerana aku lupa, tapi kerana segalanya tersimpan rapi di ruang “draft” yang tak pernah benar-benar aku publish. Sejujurnya, menulis selepas berkahwin terasa begitu berbeza. Dulu, aku bebas meluah apa yang terpendam, menulis tanpa perlu menimbang rasa. Kini, setiap ayat perlu dijaga. ada hati, perasaan, dan maruah yang perlu aku lindungi. Kadang aku terfikir.. mungkin aku perlu menulis semula, tapi di tempat lain, dengan nama yang tiada siapa kenal. Atau mungkin, sekadar membuka akaun baru, dan menulis tanpa identiti. Kerana bila ditelan, aku yang sesak. Bila diluah, ada yang mungkin terluka. Yang membuatkan aku kembali menulis ini… kerana hati sudah tak sekuat dulu. Di luar, mungkin nampak senyum, tapi hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa beratnya yang aku pendam. Semoga Tuhan terus menjaga jari-jari ini, agar tak menulis lebih dari sepatutnya. Assalamualaikum.
Recent posts

Coretan dan doa malam ini

  Bagi manusia yang sabarnya senipis kulit bawang seperti aku, sememangnya jangkaan memang berlaku. Kadang sengaja aku biarkan agar terlihat sabar dan baik-baik saja walhal limitnya sudah bahaya.  Apapun yang terjadi pastu selalu membawa sisi baik kemudian, maka aku akan siap dan cukup sedia jalani takdir dengan versi terbaik dan menghargai proses. Seperti perihal sabar dan syukur, ia adalah dua kata yang sudah semestinya ada dalam sebuah proses. Sama juga kaitannya antara awal dan akhir.  Sabar dan ikhlas. -------- 10 November 2022 - Tersemat dalam ingatan 11 November 2022 - Tersemat dalam jiwa -------- Ajar hati kebal. Kadang aku melantakkan semuanya. Mengajar hati untuk tebal dan diam. Bukan semua hal yang terjadi memerlukan pendapat, apatah lagi memaksa orang menerima pendapat kita. Hanya mampu untuk memberi reaksi terhadap semua hal dan lebih baik untuk duduk diam dan lihat. Walau kelat, tetap senyum. Cuba. Terus cuba. Hanya satu, hanya satu doa pada malam ini sebelu...

My silence means I am tired..

and now there is nothing left to fight for. My silence means I am tired of explaining my feelings to you, but now I don’t have the energy to explained them anymore. My silence means I have adapted to the changes in my life and I don’t want to complain. My silence means I am on a self to forget everything I ever wanted from you. My silence means I am just trying to move on gracefully with all my dignity.

ARCHITECTURE STUDY TRIP - HANGZHOU AND SHANGHAI, CHINA

Hello everyone, I start to open this page and have my courage to start writing again. I feel nervous and overwhelmed. It's been a long time, too many things to say, I don't know where to start. feels like I almost forgot how to tell things. when actually all I gotta do is just.. write it down. and I should've just known it. How was your day? Hope it's pretty amazing. So here we go, a new post of a gorgeous memorable moment in the world's most populated country, China. It was my first visit to this bustling city, and I’ll never forget how intimidating it felt the first time I ventured to this City. Crowds gathered to take selfies with the iconic backdrop, sellers tried to hawk catalogs of shoddy goods and massages with benefits, and I stumbled my way through the visit in appalling unorganized fashion. I am so happy and glad to participating in this Architectural Study Trip with ARCHICENTRE SDN BHD & DTLM DESIGN GROUP SDN BHD. Thank you so much for th...

Short stories - A Dreamer Nightmare

This is the story about a girl that was once madly in love with a boy. Every thing was great and they thought they were going to be together forever but he maybe didn't see it that way. So here is the story about what happened.  . . . One month before third year together.. That day was the saddest, most tragic day of her life. She ride to work every morning, she is happy and saying hi to all her friends. Every thing seemed fine. Even when she got class on weekend. She's fine, just fine. She still loved him and for 3 years and she's only loved him. She hasn't dated any one else while he sleeps around. He's always on her mind while she probably barley crosses his. She can't get over him. He was her only one true love and after all he cheating behind. She later found out that he had cheated on her. She cried her self to bed that night and never fully recovered. She still waiting for him to say something but he never did so she finally just let it...

I bet you know.

I just could not stop my self from loving you, you know? Yes, after all It's still same even, it's hurt me. Baby, You can say anything. For I know, that everything, and anything that came out of you, means love. Yes, after all If I'm wrong and I am just dreaming then I am okay. I am still that naive and stupid girl, staying true to the code. --- Dear God, if you are hearing this, please, please, please, don't you ever let me  fall in love again if I failed with this relationship. There's nothing about love that would make me want to fall into that trap again, bukan penat cuma ia sakit perit seakan membuatkan aku hilang pedoman dan arah tuju masa depan.

a Partime Degree Student (e-PJJ) with her best two

Assalamualaikum yee-all's! Hooray !  Finally ,  final   exam   is   finished . It's  been   hard   days   that  I  has   dealt   with   exams . I'm  not   for   sure   that  I  did   well ,  but  I  did   my   best   as   far   as  I  can . Well, I’m finally done with exams. The joy that is pulsating through my veins right now is indescribable. The past two weeks have been exceptionally rough. Well, orang sibuk dalam mood raya, tapi bukan untuk UITM students, even fulltime and partime tidak terkecuali. Fhewwwh! I took a Information and Technology In Business final on Tuesday noon, a Islamic and Asian Civilization final on Monday, Economics last Monday and Principle and Practice of Management last Friday. But, it’s all over now. Like I said, I’m not quite sure how I did on my exams, but for now none of that all matters. ...