This is the story about a girl that was once madly in love with a boy. Every thing was great and they thought they were going to be together forever but he maybe didn't see it that way. So here is the story about what happened.
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One month before third year together..
That day was the saddest, most tragic day of her life. She ride to work every morning, she is happy and saying hi to all her friends. Every thing seemed fine. Even when she got class on weekend. She's fine, just fine.
She still loved him and for 3 years and she's only loved him. She hasn't dated any one else while he sleeps around. He's always on her mind while she probably barley crosses his. She can't get over him. He was her only one true love and after all he cheating behind. She later found out that he had cheated on her. She cried her self to bed that night and never fully recovered. She still waiting for him to say something but he never did so she finally just let it go and follow the flow.
She can’t endorse the idea of love at first sight, but maybe there are moments when God or fate or some cosmic sense of humor rolls its eyes at two stammering human hearts and says, “Oh, for crying out loud.”
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One month before third year together..
That day was the saddest, most tragic day of her life. She ride to work every morning, she is happy and saying hi to all her friends. Every thing seemed fine. Even when she got class on weekend. She's fine, just fine.
She still loved him and for 3 years and she's only loved him. She hasn't dated any one else while he sleeps around. He's always on her mind while she probably barley crosses his. She can't get over him. He was her only one true love and after all he cheating behind. She later found out that he had cheated on her. She cried her self to bed that night and never fully recovered. She still waiting for him to say something but he never did so she finally just let it go and follow the flow.
She can’t endorse the idea of love at first sight, but maybe there are moments when God or fate or some cosmic sense of humor rolls its eyes at two stammering human hearts and says, “Oh, for crying out loud.”
Aug 17
McD. She was there. Waiting for that young childish girl. She know her name but, she just does not want to call it. So rubb*sh.
She sit inside with that girl. Too many conversation, too many question from that girl she met, Like.. wth. It's okay then, she relax and justt can't wait. Atleast she did what she did. Sgot a call at 5 am, 21 August 2017. He told me everythings. No, not all. Not as much as I know. He still hide it from me. That time.
She sit inside with that girl. Too many conversation, too many question from that girl she met, Like.. wth. It's okay then, she relax and justt can't wait. Atleast she did what she did. Sgot a call at 5 am, 21 August 2017. He told me everythings. No, not all. Not as much as I know. He still hide it from me. That time.
Pretend to be normal. All she want is to live in a glasshouse where everybody can see her life and be the judge.
*Breathe*
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Young girl. You should know, I was the girl before you. I was the girl who held his hand before you. I was the girl who hugged him tight before you. I was the girl who came rushing down for him when he need me before you. I was the girl who he spilled sweet nothings to before you. I was the girl who held a place in his heart and life before you. When I first will find about you, I am sure I will resent you. But we both have something in common now which connects us somehow whether we like it or not.I hope you don’t get intimidated by me. I assure you that if its you now who holds his attention then you too have already secured a place in his heart for a few months now. I bet he would have forgotten about the past, how beautiful our relationship. As much as I’m sad at how things went down and happens di saat hubungan kami tak ada masalah. We are fine till I meet you that day. Nightmare. Sucks.
What do you expect after that day we met? Leave him? Easy huh? Yes easy, then let he choose with who he wanna be. If he choose you, then you both can blah from my life. Please go forever.
He made mistake. BIG MISTAKES. The same mistakes with my past. Shy-tan. I am not happy that he has found you whether you’re meant to be temporarily or permanently in his life. Just please, say never for a guy who's in a relationship. Eh jap, you're also someone's girlfriend it is? Or someone's scandal? But please show a little class la girl, when you play in someone else sandbox you get crabs.
Maybe i look like I don't know everything. A lot of true/fake things I don't know. Macam ahh so innocent.. But the true is I know everything. From who, from where, tak penting. Orang kanan kiri bawah atas sebelah ramai. After all... mustahil lah i will be the same girl and let it be, follow the flow, tabah, redha. Boring.
I know that you're still hoping for a miracle (i don't know now), but stupid. If you still love him, like you say you do, and you know it’s wrong to have a feeling with someone’s, then you need to let him go. Allow him to be happy with me—because we were both broken and together we found a way to mend each other. Don’t think he’s or me forgotten all about you. He is the man today partly because of you too. Now, please get a life, do some respect.
I told you before, if he choose you one day. He will be yours. Fully yours.
I told you before, if he choose you one day. He will be yours. Fully yours.
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Everything was so juvenile. She told her heart to cheer up, disappointment as near as a close up.
She need to chill up herself. This’s a part of her. She not being productive. Because, it’s all in her head. All the negative self talk is destroying her peace and tranquility.
She need to chill up herself. This’s a part of her. She not being productive. Because, it’s all in her head. All the negative self talk is destroying her peace and tranquility.
Sept 17
She realize that she can start by chilling out her mind with, Think less, love more. Analyze less, dream more. Complain less, laugh more. Resists less, affirm more. Judge less, accept more. Fear less, breathe more. Fret less, live more.
Then, she start writing in her diary again.
I wanna feel beautiful again,
I wanna feel the strength beneath my feet again
The power in my own two hands
I wanna feel the passion again
flows in my body like the blood,
I wanna bring out the light again,
the light that shines thru my eyes and mind
I wanna fill again, this hole of pain without regrets, with hopes and prayers
I wanna forgive and forget
I will not blame anything or anyone
All these imperfections, disappointments
Life has beautifully written with paints , inks, scratches and flowers
I want to keep writting mine
I wanna laugh again freely with or without these braces on
I want to believe again , in myself, in tomorrow, and hopes
I want to find again, one that is lost
I want to build again, one that is broken
I will build it again, higher, and higher, over and over again
I will not keep the burden weighs me down
These fears are illusion
Forgiveness is a dew
I want to live again
and I will breathe again
and dear self, you will read this over and over again, don't you worry about that, as you read it you'll be healed over and over again..
To the power above all, forgive me , forgive everybody, forgive us,
To the power above all, you are the magic, the love, and the life
healing.
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I hope, she is doing better now. Noted to self, just be grateful and Allah will grant you more.
Then, she start writing in her diary again.
I wanna feel beautiful again,
I wanna feel the strength beneath my feet again
The power in my own two hands
I wanna feel the passion again
flows in my body like the blood,
I wanna bring out the light again,
the light that shines thru my eyes and mind
I wanna fill again, this hole of pain without regrets, with hopes and prayers
I wanna forgive and forget
I will not blame anything or anyone
All these imperfections, disappointments
Life has beautifully written with paints , inks, scratches and flowers
I want to keep writting mine
I wanna laugh again freely with or without these braces on
I want to believe again , in myself, in tomorrow, and hopes
I want to find again, one that is lost
I want to build again, one that is broken
I will build it again, higher, and higher, over and over again
I will not keep the burden weighs me down
These fears are illusion
Forgiveness is a dew
I want to live again
and I will breathe again
and dear self, you will read this over and over again, don't you worry about that, as you read it you'll be healed over and over again..
To the power above all, forgive me , forgive everybody, forgive us,
To the power above all, you are the magic, the love, and the life
healing.
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Yet,
She is still here
Invisible, bruised and broken
With no hope as company
With no soul as acquaintance
For she had always been alone
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I hope, she is doing better now. Noted to self, just be grateful and Allah will grant you more.
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