Masih dalam keadaan yang sama

Greetings everyone. I'm not dead yet. I'm still alive in case you were wondering. I know this blog wasn't updated, yeah, I'm busy with many event. lately. Gosh, this month I'm so fucking busy. It's been a while since I'm using the 'F' word. So when I started using it, it means hell of busy-ness. Can't describe it. Time flows like jitterbugs. No doubt.

Next semester is coming up. Shit, I'm not prepared for that. Maigawdddd. I swear I sucks at shorthands and trengkas subject. And I still do the same thing, watched a tv and the worst one, twitter, facebook, insagram, keek and blahblahblah, k godai. I can't handle my time. Frankly speaking, cuti semester selama hampir 2bulan aku langsung tak study apa apapun. Gosh aimie, you should know how to handle time ! 

I was so depressed. In the most silent way you can imagined.

Well, for the longest time when I was depressed, I told myself I wasn't. I'll tell anyone that I'm fine, yeah I seem okay. But actually I'm not. I'm depressed. I'm trying to get better, I really am but  it's so much easier saying it than it's actually making it happen. Everything getting at me up like air filling a balloon, there's only so much I can take before I burst open, before I break and can't be put together again.

I'll keep trying though, I promised that I wouldn't give up. I'll be okay, I want to be okay and that's why I'll keep going even I still in love with pfffthhh shut up Aimie!!! Okay nothing to tell. Hi Syed Aznil, you bring a sunshine to me. But then, I dont know how to feel for you. Because you not love me at all. Same goes to me. So okay, we can be like a bestfriends. I am okay. Pretty sure.

Anyway, may ALLAH bless you Dak Demokkk. I will always support you. Peace :-*

I don’t feel like much of a girl. Truly inside I feel weak.  I feel lonely.  I feel like I want to shutter myself away. Its been many months.  I thought  I was at least through this part of the journey.  But I was wrong.  I’m not. Today I realized, remembered, or just was hit again with a single thought.  ”No one loves me. I no longer have love in my life. And I still love someone, who does not love me.” And the tears came back. Shit.

I got this feeling that I need to learn how to deal with pain, and loneliness, and that I’m the only one that can help me with it.  Or maybe I’m just fooling myself and its an excuse to not be hurt, to not be close to anyone.  I don’t know. 

I do know I don’t like this feeling any more.  I needed to be more patient with what I was unhappy about. But then again, I love with my new life. InsyaALLAH all will be good. And yes, saya tak perlukan simpati. Cukup sekadar mendoakan saya okay. Deal? Thanks.

Oh before that I nak bagitahu yang I ada juga buat keek video. Tapi macam hareem. Hahaha! Cuma bercakap rambang jer. Anyway, tolongla percaya yang I tak gedik macam dalam video ni. Nak roll-roll eyes bagai. I just try to act macam perempuan2 namun jadi macam stupid blonde pula sebab overreacting haha ! Ni semua lakonan semata. In real life, aku cakap macam brader2 kot. Ketawa macam orang gila. kikiki

Two in one. So guys, apa lagi. Meh follow Instagram and Keek. Okay then so long, farewell. Assalamualaikum. Bye.